Show highlights include:
- The “Death Bed” mindset tweak for staying laser-focused on your fitness goals (especially when you’re tired and busy) ([2:38])
- Why you’ll never have the body you want if you treat your goals like politicians treat their promises ([3:16])
- The weird way losing 50 pounds in one month sets you up to gain even more weight in the next few months ([7:10])
- How wishful thinking destroys your fitness goals (even if you think it’s motivating you) ([7:40])
- Why a macronutrient calorie plan won’t help you lose weight (and the skills you need to lose weight and keep it off) ([8:28])
- How starting a business makes your wildest fitness goals easier to reach ([12:04])
- The “Shift Fire” trick for when you’re about to quit that instantly refocuses and remotivates you ([14:53])
- The 3 most common ways we self-sabotage (and how to conquer them for good) ([17:27])
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(00:52): Hey athletes, what is up? It is coach Katie danger with episode number 72 of the coach, Katie danger podcast. And I'm recording this on a beautiful afternoon in July in Omaha, Nebraska. And as a coach, I thought it was really, really important to dive deep into the reasons why most people don't reach their goals. There are billions of people in this world right now, billions of people, there are so many fish in the sea and for some odd reason, there's just so many people who are Googling how to reach my goals, goal setting programs, mindset coaches. What else can I do? And oftentimes we're trying to look for external sources to our happiness. We're trying to look for external reasons why maybe we haven't reached our goals. And I think we're missing the point. I think we're missing the mark a lot. And that is exactly what this whole podcast is talking about today. I'm going to be diving into these three most abundant, most prominent, most destructive self-sabotaging behaviors that I have experienced one as an athlete, because I have done these myself and number two as a coach, because I see athletes.
(01:56): I see clients do these things all the time. And while we're so desperate to search for answers and find reasons why we're either going to reach our goals or you know why we happen to be failing at things. Here's three reasons why, and they're all internal. They're not external. You can't go to the store and buying a cake. You can't Google it. What you have to do is you just have to get real with yourself. So sit back, relax, get real with yourself. And here are the three most prominent self-sabotaging behaviors that are derailing you from reaching your goals. The first one is don't leave anything to chance. Oftentimes when we set goals, we set them with good intentions. Of course we do. You know, we want to be better. We want to improve ourselves. We don't want to be stagnant. We want to live a life that inspires others when we are on our deathbeds.
(02:45): Whenever that may be, we don't want to look back and go, God, I wish I would've done that. But when we leave things to chance, when we just roll the dice with our dreams, we're not really putting the effort forward necessary in order to get to where we want to go, because it does take, doesn't just take chance. It makes us feel really good to state our intentions. It gives us this motivation, or it might even get others to shut up and get off of our backs, right? Like, you know, if we've got a problem, I mean, let's just go to an easy one, right? Like let's an alcoholic. If they just say that they're going to stop drinking, it might shut somebody out for a little while. And without a plan, however, a plan to actually stop the behavior plan and motion to do what we need to do.
(03:24): It's just like a lot of politics and campaign promises. They don't really have a lot of weight to them. So there's no staying power. And it doesn't mean that we don't mean what we say. We just don't have a plan. And we don't know how to get there without a plan. There is no. How do I get there? I mean, if you're on a road trip, we live in 20, 21. And most of the times, if we just follow enough signs, we could probably get to where we want on a go. But if you don't make a plan or a route for a road trip, you could get, I mean, there were days before we had Google maps. There were days before we had GPS. So we had to set our plans up. You know, I remember as a kid, my parents would go to AAA and we took a lot of road trips when I was a kid I'm in, I lived in Norfolk, Nebraska, and we would drive to Phoenix, Arizona.
(04:12): It's a two day trip. It really wasn't that fun. But nonetheless, my daddy would go up to AAA and they'd set up a roadmap, a plan, but somehow they had access to, you know, what was under construction at the time. So we had detours and things. We followed just because we have GPS now doesn't mean you can still get by without a plan, make a plan. Don't leave anything to chance. So when we stay or intentions, it's like the ball gets rolling, but we don't even know where it's going or how to get it going there without the tools to follow through. Without a plan, what ends up happening is we're just in the same space, but it's just like a yo-yo diet. You need a plan to deal with the impulses. When they pop up, you can go on a crash diet and lose a ton of weight.
(04:56): But if there's no plan on how to take care of it, things afterwards after the plane is over, or when those impulses come up, it's going to be very, very difficult to reach your goal. You're going to be stuck in your hell and you're never going to get to your heaven. So here's what you can do. Instead, you can get yourself a coach. You can start with the end in mind. What you can do is you can picture how you want things to be and be very specific about this. Like I said, don't leave anything to chance to get very, very specific on what your goal is. Find a coach who can create this plan for you to instill the what and the how to make the plan work for you. That's the key, the plan for you. Don't get a cookie cutter program, don't get a cookie cutter diet or workout program.
(05:34): Those are a dime a dozen, and there's a reason they're a dime a dozen because they're cheap and they're not tailored towards you. So get a plan that's specific and goal oriented for you and includes the what and the how break down these goals into segments. Take it one chunk at a time. I've said this in a few podcasts before, and I'll say it again, eat the elephant one bite at a time. So break things down into segments and take one bite at a time. Find a way to monitor your progress objectively. So you can use things like fitness trackers. You can even use old school tools like calipers. If you're doing measurements around your waist, your hips, your thighs, things like that. You can use, you know, one of those closed measurements tools. But the point is when you want to track progress, make sure you're monitoring it in a way that shows if results are being made or not being made.
(06:19): And if you want to bail on your plan, if you are at a point you're like, I just don't want to do this anymore. Don't bail on your plan until you have a plan for changing plans. Okay. So don't just quit something. Make sure you have a plan after the plan. All right. So that was number one. Don't leave anything to chance. That is probably the number one way that we self-sabotage is. We just don't think things through. We just think, like I heard this saying once and I get it and it's a little vulgar, but here it goes. I had somebody tell me once you can make a wish in one hand and you can take a in the other hand and you know, what's going to fill up faster. Yeah, I think, you know, so that came from a very vulgar person, but you get the idea, right?
(07:02): You can make all the wishes you want, but unless you do something about it and take action with a plan, you're not going to get where you want to go. All right. Number two, number two. Oh gosh. Have we all been here before unrealistic expectations? Here's what I mean by that. It is reasonable. When you start a new program, whether it's weight, training or weight loss, it's reasonable to expect to see progress. It is like, that's why we do things. We want to see progress. So that's reasonable. But what is unreasonable is to expect that you'll lose 50 pounds in a month or that you'll be Mr. Olympia in six months, that's unrealistic. It cannot happen that way. And it doesn't happen that way. So what happens is we allow wishful thinking to override our grip on common sense. We have to ask ourselves, do we have the savvy?
(07:48): We have the talent. And do we have the resources to achieve these big hopes and dreams that we have. We need to get over the fact that we need quick vindication. You know, you're going to see small progress when you start things. If you follow the plan, but you're not going to see this big shining, vindication or big one-upping of other people without persevering. So we eliminate that need to win big immediately. So here's what you can do instead. Here's what you can do. Instead when you're setting expectations for yourself, ask yourself next time, how likely it is to happen. So what you want, how likely is it that what you want is going to happen when you want it to happen, list everything that is necessary to reach your goal, everything. So if it's a weight loss goal, if it's a substantial weight loss amount that you want to lose, you got to write down everything that you need.
(08:34): And that includes the tools and skills that you need in order to get there. It's not just having the right food in the house. It's not just making a good grocery shopping list or having a macronutrient calorie plan for you. You, you listening right now, you athlete, you have got to have the tools and skills necessary to make better decisions, to hold yourself accountable and to assess your progress objectively, which brings me into looking at yourself objectively. Now, if you don't feel that you can look at yourself objectively. So we have objective and subjective. Subjective is it's an opinion. Objective would be more factual based, which sometimes we have a hard time doing, because lots of times our self-awareness is lacking. We're our own best critics. But at the same time, we are also good at letting ourselves off the hook. Right? So ask a friend, ask a family member.
(09:19): Do you have what it takes to accomplish? What needs to be done? What is it going to take? What do you have to learn? What do you need in your life? What skills do you need? Then I want you to rate your goal on a scale of one to 10, in terms of its realistic nature to happen. One is unrealistic and 10 is totally doable. Now the lower, the score, the less realistic something is the more likely, and the more I will suggest that you have a contingency plan backup. So if you have an unrealistic goal, make sure you're emotionally ready, have a contingency plan. And like I mentioned in the first one about don't leave anything to chance don't bail on anything. Don't quit on anything until you have a plan for the backup plan. So this goes right into number two with unrealistic expectations.
(10:03): You know, don't treat long shots, don't treat unrealistic expectations. Like they're sure things to happen because if you do, you will more than likely be disappointed and you will not want to continue on. So what you should do is treat sure things like sure things. So treat realistic expectations realistically, and treat long shots like long shots. And you won't be disappointed very often and more than likely you'll get what you deserve in life, as long as you're willing to put in the effort. And here's another thing for you just because something is realistic. Doesn't mean it's reasonable. And just because it's reasonable doesn't mean it's realistic. So make sure you take that heed, that advice. And when you're setting expectations for yourself, you rate them on a scale of one to 10 in terms of unrealistic
(10:46): Or totally doable. It'll help keep you on tracking will help keep you mentally and emotionally the game a lot longer. Hey, I know. And you know that I talk a lot about using supplements on your fitness journey and reaching your full potential. How I believe they're integral pieces of the puzzle to reaching your best self and best fitness results. But do you know how supplements fit into your plan? Do you know what to take for your goals and how much of a supplement you should take if you ever had any of those questions and you want to know how supplements can work for you and your goals, go to your fitness supplements.com and take the free free, free three point personalized supplement assessment. And with just a few questions, you'll have a complete personalized supplement recommendation in less than 60 seconds. You'll know more about how supplements fit into your fitness goals. What's safe and what's effective and perfect for you. So type in your fitness supplements.com in your internet browser, take the free assessment and get on the fast track to your best fitness results.
(11:50): And the third thing I see that people are doing self sabotage themselves is quitting too soon. I don't know how many times I've talked about this in my podcasts, in my emails. I say it to myself every day, but if something is worth doing, it's worth doing, and the process itself is rewarding. It's not about the outcome. It's about the process and how it makes you feel to know that no matter what comes up, this is a worthwhile endeavor and you're not going to give up. I would suggest if you really want to know what that means, start a business business. It's not an easy venture. There's no such thing as overnight success [inaudible] it just doesn't work that way. Those are things that take perseverance, wanting to be Mr or Mrs. Olympia going to the CrossFit games. Do you know how many athletes I have met in my 16, excuse me, 18 years of fitness experience that have had very, very audacious goals.
(12:47): They've wanted to go to the CrossFit games. The moment they've ever learned, how to do a clean and jerk, they've went to, to planet fitness one time and they want to be Mr. Olympia. And that is great. Like I'm never going to shut anybody down. The thing is you've got to find rewards in the process itself. The journey is where the is that the outcome, the outcomes, just the icing on the cake. It's the process. We often think if we quit, we can just do something else sometimes. Yeah, I don't need to quit. We just need to try something different. So if we're not getting the results, so we want, you know, shift fire, don't cease fire, just shift fire, find out how you can do things a little bit differently. I've heard elite athletes say this often the key to success is tolerating boredom and monotony training programs.
(13:30): Very, very boring. They get very, very monotonous. And as you get more fit and you get more elite, the progress is so minute and you don't even see it anymore. Elite Olympic weightlifters, for example, my goodness, the amount of work and effort those individuals have to put in just to see like a fourth of a Hilo improvement over a few years, that takes dedication. It takes work. It takes love of the process and it conviction to the journey. They're not necessarily worried about the outcome. I mean, that is great, right? Like we want to get there. That's the process is rewarding oftentimes, because what happens is reality sets in the honeymoon phase wears off things, get more difficult than we had anticipated. And we start seeing all the obstacles in the way we want to avoid embarrassment. We don't want to be seen as weak.
(14:15): So instead of admitting this to ourselves, instead of saying, you know what I might not be doing as well as I thought I did, or maybe I bit off more than I can chew and shift fire, we just decided to quit. We cut our losses and we quit rather than persevering through the discomfort. We just decide. It's not what we wanted to do. We avoid that pain and discomfort and we move on. Now, quitting serves a purpose. Quitting serves a purpose of relieving frustration and anxiety about an unknown outcome. It keeps us from confronting this deeper sense of fear that we have about ourselves, about our abilities, what we're actually capable of doing. If you've ever tried anything before and you've ever come to the realization that you just didn't have, what it takes to get to where you originally wanted to go, you will know.
(15:03): You will know how disappointing that feels and quitting feels like the only option I have been there before. I have been there before I had once believed that I was capable of going to the CrossFit games and hitting the podium. I believe that I trained hard. I mean, I had physical gifts, you know, I was able to make regionals really easily. Why couldn't I get to the next level? There were just some things in my life that either I was unable or unwilling to tweak physical gifts, that just really did it match up to the quality and level that was needed to get there. And that is okay because instead of just quitting on my dreams, I have shifted fire. I have become a fitness and nutrition coach who wants to educate, inspire and empower. So I didn't quit. I just shifted my goals. I thought a little bit differently.
(15:48): And I'm like, I could still be in there and I can still give back and do amazing things for other people and educate, inspire, and empower. So when we quit one, we deprive ourselves of a reawakening of learning more about it. And then we also deprive others of maybe the gifts that we have to share that because we don't stick with something long enough, we never really realized that we're capable of giving. So quitting comes at a steep price. It comes at a price. Not only do we not reach our goals, but we also lose credibility. People are watching, they watch me. They watch you. You know, you're a fairly decent performer in the gym that you go to. People see you, people are trying to learn from you. And the last thing they want to think of the person that they're watching and they believe in, or who inspires them is that there are quitter.
(16:35): Quitting comes at that steep price. We don't learn things about ourselves that we should. And sometimes other people see us and we lose the credibility with them as well. So that's a really steep price to pay for quitting. So here's my suggestion. And I kind of mentioned it before, instead of abandoning ship all day together, take a pause, take a pause and reevaluate your course of action and shift fire. Don't abandoned ship. Don't cease fire. Just shift your course of action. Reevaluate. Okay. Failure is only a failure. When you stay down, we get knocked down a million times, back up 1,000,001, you're not a failure. You've seen it on Batman before, right? Like we only to get back up or whatever his dad said to him when he fell down in that. Well, I'm trying to remember Batman, excuse me. If I get some of the details off, but you get it right.
(17:19): Don't quit. Don't quit. Don't give up on yourself. Quitting too soon is such a huge reason why we ended up not reaching our goals. So let me reiterate the three ways that we self-sabotage the three main ways in which we, I guess, stop ourselves from reaching our potential. Don't leave anything to chance. Don't set unrealistic expectations and don't quit too soon. Here's what you do got to do all of this together. Take action. But taking action takes awareness. And when you have awareness, you can take better action. So don't think about getting things perfect. Okay. We're not a lot of people like, well, I don't want to start until everything's perfect. Take messy action. Get out there and do and try and see and explore, but be aware of how you're getting, you know, what feedback you're getting from the world, what feedback you're getting from yourself.
(18:11): If you back, you're getting from your friends and family, take action and be aware. Nothing will ever change in your life unless you change. Here's a couple things I'm going to leave you with you guys. It's always a good time to get started. Take that messy action. Who cares? What? It looks like being stuck in where you're at right now, treading water running in place. Maybe you're even walking backwards. Metaphorically it's okay. Kennedy, any justice. So take messy action and get started. There's never a better time started then right now you have to know there's a problem in order to make a change. So unless you're willing to get a little bit more real with yourself and know you have some of these hindrances in your life, you won't be able to make a change. So just get honest with yourself who cares? Like nobody's going to judge you.
(18:54): We've all got these ticks. We've all got these habits. We're all human. Sometimes having the words will is not enough. You have to have a plan. You have to have a way there's research out there that shows that even the most high spirited well-intentioned motivated, people cannot reach their goals if they don't have a plan. So having a will is great, but not necessarily enough to make sure you have the will and the motivation and drive. But you also have a plan in place. And no matter how old you are, you can always teach an old dog new tricks. I don't know where that Saint ever came from. You can't teach an old dog new tricks, but it's silly. It's not true. You can always teach an old dog new tricks. And we know this, we see it with humans. We see with animals. There are fewer things that feel better than overcoming self-defeating behavior and showing yourself that you can, if you're looking for a way to feel better, if you happen to be listening to this right now or later on in the day or in a few days, and you get to a point and you're just kind of feeling depressed about yourself and just, just not really content with where you're at, try to take some action, overcome that self-defeating behavior, because there are very few things that feel better than that.
(20:00): I mean, knowing that you've been able to overcome your vice and your self sabotaging behavior, that's just like a big F-you to whatever self-sabotaging behavior might be lurking around the corner. So go out there and get it. Don't let any of these things stop you. Here's the deal athletes. If you're ready to make changes, if you're ready to create an actual plan and stop leaving things to chance. If you're saying sick and tired of quitting too soon, and you're really fed up with setting unrealistic expectations that do not come to fruition. I want you to schedule your call with me. Now. I want to be your coach. The very least. I want to learn more about your goals, the challenges you have, the things that you're doing, right? The things that you might not be doing so well mean, come up with an idea plan. Remember, there's a will, but there's got to be a plan involved. So your call with me, you can do that at metabolic amplification, formula.com. It's a free
(20:52): Call. We'll chat for 30 minutes. I'll tell you exactly how it can help you. And then it's up to you to pull the trigger and take the action. So schedule your call with me. Metabolic amplification, Formula.Com. Let's hash out your goals in real time. Develop that action plan
(21:07): And move you forward because athletes, you deserve this, but you have to take action. This is episode number 72 athletes. And as always, I want you to believe in yourself. I want you to trust the process, enjoy the journey and don't ever, ever quit on yourself until next time athletes. This is coach katie d!